Well, the last month of wedding planning has certainly had it all, including plenty of ups and downs. I’ll be honest, there was a moment when I thought I’d leave the ‘downs’ out of this planning diary but I’ve decided against that. Wedding planning isn’t always hearts and flowers and I didn’t want to pretend everything has been perfect when that’s not true. So, I hope that if you’re having a less-than-ideal time of wedding planning at the moment, this might make you feel that you’re not alone – group hug! That said, there have been some absolutely brilliant moments too so let me tell you what’s been happening…
When wedding planning isn’t perfect
Firstly, my best friend can’t make my wedding. This reduced me to tears because not only is she my best friend, she’s also the mother of my gorgeous god-daughter who was going to be my mini bridesmaid. We merrily sent out our beautiful Save The Date cards (thanks Papier!) and my friend got in touch straight away with the bad news – they’ve already booked their holiday for next year and can’t change the dates. It is, most certainly, ‘one of those things’ but the news called for tissues, chocolate and lots of hugs, all of which Keith provided in abundance!
Images courtesy of Papier
Secondly, we went to give notice at the registry office and it was pretty rubbish to be honest. Because we’re having a church blessing on our big day, we’re actually doing the legal deed a few days before that in a very private ceremony. So, along we went to give notice, clutching all our relevant paperwork, ready for anything. Well, it turns out I wasn’t ready.
A few years ago, for lots of reasons, I changed my surname. Everything was done properly and I have a passport, a driving licence, bank accounts and everything ‘adult’ in my new name. But, that’s not good enough for the registrar and because my change of name document wasn’t stamped by the Royal Courts of Justice (who knew that was even a thing), I also have to have my old name on our marriage certificate.
This sounds like a small detail in the scheme of things doesn’t it? And there’s part of me that says it shouldn’t matter because once we leave that ceremony, I’ll be using my partner’s surname. However, it does matter. It matters because I’d left that name behind and to be reminded of it, and everything that went with it, in the moment that I get married feels really rotten.
Feeling better with wedding flowers
Thankfully, the month got better after that because we met with our florist, the wondrous Charlotte from Verity & Thyme. I’d met Charlotte on a styled shoot a little while ago and absolutely loved her work so she was the first florist that I contacted and then crossed my fingers in the hope that she would be available on our big day. And she was – phew!
We met with Charlotte at our venue (more of that in a coming instalment because it’s rather special for us) and her reaction was just fabulous and gave us so much confidence in our choice. To watch someone discover a place that you know really well makes you see everything in a whole new light. I think both Keith and I feel even more in love with our venue then.
Anyway, Charlotte totally understood the look that we want for our wedding and I trust her so much that she’s been given total freedom with the flowers that she uses. We haven’t got a colour scheme as such, more a range of colours that we’re happy to include so Charlotte will be joyfully taking her pick of the best seasonal blooms when the time comes.
I have to say that the information that Charlotte sent through after our meeting has completely brought the wedding to life for me and was just what I needed after the knocks earlier in the month. I can see, in my mind’s eye, how everything is going to look. I can imagine the church and the venue itself and I can absolutely envisage the floral decorations bringing everything to life. I love flowers so on our list of wedding priorities, this was an important thing to get right and I already can’t wait to see what Charlotte has in store for us and yes, my bouquet will be a complete surprise to me on the day!
So, what’s next? Well, I’m off dress shopping with a lovely friend in a few days so expect my next update to feature gowns and the ever-expanding list of wedding DIY!
A groom’s eye view
Now that the initial rush of post-proposal joy has past, how’s our groom feeling this month? Here’s Keith with his look at month two:
“It turns out that everyone loves the prospect of a good wedding. The initial excitement that followed the engagement has turned in to anticipation of the big day itself and of course the detail. As soon as you so much as reveal the month you want to get married in, let alone the actual date, people want details. Everyone is an expert and everyone has an opinion. Luckily, Tam and I have very similar tastes and we have a shared vision of what we want from the day. Consequently, we were ready for the onslaught. The difficulty now, is not revealing too much; we don’t want to spoil the surprise!”
“One of my highlights in the last month has been piecing together my half of the wedding party. It didn’t take long to think who was to be my best man. My childhood friend who has been there through thick and thin. It was a natural choice. My groomsmen are close friends and work colleagues who I would trust to keep the day flowing along. What is priceless is the look on their faces when you ask them to take on this duty. They are genuinely touched and it is the shaking of hands and man hugs that follow, that you realise even more so, that this wedding is going to mean so much to so many others beyond me and Tam…so no pressure!”
Image courtesy of Valencia Photography
“Where I have had to adjust, is in my thinking on budget. I started out with a figure in mind that would enable us to have the perfect day that people would talk about for months. Double it. It is sometimes said that suffering brings people closer together and I am now seeing eye to eye with friends who have been through this process before. When I discuss the issue of money with them the advice is ‘suck it up, it’s the biggest day of your life so just take it on the chin and go with it…you won’t regret it’.”
“If in asking my friends to be a part of my day we have created so much happiness and if this is just a small slice of what is to come on the day then so be it. Yes this is going to be a great day for us, but it will also be a great day for our friends and families and a day where everyone comes together. When I think of it like this, I’m struggling to put a price on it.”