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How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day | CHWV

Don’t let family politics spoil your big day by following this expert advice.

We know that everyone dreams of the perfect wedding day but we also know that sometimes, things can be a little tricky. Behind the scenes, family politics and issues can make you feel nervous about the big day when you should be nothing but excited. Whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone and many couples will have experienced the same feelings ahead of their wedding day too. From guest list dramas to family tensions and last-minute headaches, read on to find out how to handle a wide range of wedding problems.

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day | CHWV

The dreaded guest list!

The guest list can often be a source of tension so try to put yours together without too much input from anyone else. As soon as you ask your family’s opinion, they’ll come up with reasons why you should do things differently. You can always explain that your venue has restrictions on numbers or compromise by inviting their friends to your evening reception. Don’t be afraid to point out that each guest has an impact on your budget though!

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day - The dreaded guest list | CHWV

Image by Studio Rouge

Managing expectations

Quite often, families will have a view on what you ‘should’ do on your big day. If you want to tell people what you have planned, always present a united front and meet any ‘suggestions’ for changes with a firm ‘I don’t think that will suit the day we have planned’ or a slightly vaguer ‘that sounds like an interesting idea, we’ll think about it’.

Avoiding conflict

If you have family members who don’t really get on, you need to confront this head on early in the planning process. Ask those concerned straight out if they’re able to be civil for the day and if they can’t tell you that they can, then you need to carefully consider if you want them at your wedding. Emotions can run high on wedding days and you shouldn’t spend the day worrying about another people’s behaviour.

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day - Avoiding conflict | CHWV

Image by Anushe Low

Money matters

Money is another source of stress and again, frank conversations are necessary to stop this becoming an issue. If your family has promised ‘a contribution’ towards the big day, you’ll need to find out how much this is and when you might receive it. It sounds mercenary but for your own budgeting, you need to be sure what money is available. Similarly, if your family tells you that they want to buy your wedding dress or the flowers, agree on a figure so you all know where you stand.

Sometimes, the wedding day itself can bring family problems to a head. If you’re aware of any simmering issues or if you think that problems might crop up on the day, don’t worry. Here’s what you need to do to make sure that you’re not dragged into any problems when you should be celebrating.

Speak to suppliers

Talk to your suppliers before the day and explain your worries. It might be that certain people just don’t get on and you don’t want them forced into situations that will be uncomfortable for everyone or you might just know how people often behave. To solve these problems, you might need your photographer to be understanding or your venue to be aware of any issues.

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day - Speak to suppliers | CHWV

Image by Helen Sarah Pictures

Plan ahead

Plan around any problems to minimise the risk of things going wrong. If you know that Uncle Ted likes a drink, make sure that there’s always non-alcoholic options available and ask someone to keep an eye on him. Think about allocating seats for your ceremony to keep certain people apart for example and always plan in advance so that on the day, you don’t have to deal with anything.

Ask a friend

Ask one of your best friends to be your wingman (or woman). For example, if you know that your mother-in-law is likely to express her ‘views’ about your wedding choices, ask a friend to steer her, or the conversation, away from you so that you don’t have to listen to anything that might upset you.

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day - Ask a friend | CHWV

Image by Amy Taylor Imaging Photography

Prioritise yourself

Don’t try too hard to keep everyone else happy – this isn’t your job and on your wedding day, it should be all about you and your happiness. Don’t fall into the trap of doing everything for everyone else and forgetting about yourself in the process. If people insist on bringing the drama to your day, or to the planning, don’t keep inviting them closer in the hope that they’ll change!

How To Deal With Family Politics On Your Wedding Day - Prioritise yourself | CHWV

Image by Amara Grace Weddings


If you’d like to guarantee yourself a blissful wedding, we explain how to have a stress-free wedding right here. You won’t want to miss this!